What is Vulnerability?
When you ask a group of people the first word that comes to mind when they think of “Vulnerability” the usual response is Fear. Fear that if they allow themselves to be vulnerable they will be hurt, let down of left heartbroken. That by opening up that part of themselves they will be seen as weak and as someone who can be taken advantage of.
Being vulnerable means showing a part of you that people do not usually see. It is sharing something about yourself with the possibility of being judged or rejected. It’s pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to achieve something you desire but are scared of taking the steps needed to get it. Nothing about that is weak. It is actually very very powerful.
The safety bubble
The norm is to stay in the bubble. The bubble of safety where everything is OK. Not exciting or challenging but OK. You are ticking along in life. You have a job, somewhere to live and occasionally do something fun. This is where many people spend their whole lives but what if deep down you desire so much more? How do you move from that place of feeling safe but stifled to a place where you feel electrified by life, experiencing so much joy and fulfilment every day and knowing you are exactly where you are meant to be!
Stepping out of your comfort zone
If this is you and you are ready to take that next step, you need to learn to be vulnerable. As scary as this can be to begin with there are also so many reasons to embrace this change. Being Vulnerable allows you to show the real you. No longer do you have to pretend everything is wonderful, or that your life is a picture perfect Instagram Story. Life is a place of beautiful highs and challenging lows. Feel every part of that.
The more you are willing to share with others the more connections you will make. Others will be able to see themselves in you and they in turn will trust you and share more with you. Relationships will improve and friendships will thrive. By you showing more of yourself, you will encourage others to do the same.
The more you embrace this the more you will grow. Your “Ego” mind will quieten down and you will be able to see things clearly. Stress levels will lower and you will become more confident in every aspect of your life. As you will now be coming from a place of joy, gratitude and love, your self respect and love for yourself will also grow and this will allow you to create boundaries. This will give you the power and make it much more difficult for you to be hurt of taken advantage of.
Allowing myself to be vulnerable
My new book “No Limits” shows how I myself had to choose to be vulnerable in order to move out of a place of mere existence and as a result of this I moved into a life filled with purpose, hope and joy. My confidence grows every time I embrace vulnerability now and this helps me each time I felt the fear creep up again when a situation means I have to be vulnerable.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for” Brene Brown
Here are my top 5 tips to help you
- Create boundaries. When you do this you make a decision what you will and wont accept. Everyone knows where they stand from the beginning and there is no confusion.
- Open yourself up to people you trust to begin with. Share something about yourself and observe the response. Dipping your toes in lets you see it’s not as daunting as you think and builds confidence.
- Sharing does not mean giving every little detail about your life, nor does it mean telling everyone you meet how awful your life has been. It’s about opening yourself up enough to create connections and build trust.
- Be open to others sharing something with you. Listen and hear what the other person is saying. This will help them to feel that they matter. This is therapeutic for both of you.
- Enjoy the journey. It won’t always feel comfortable so get used to coming out of your comfort zone. It will be worth it as you see your life opening up beyond your wildest dreams.